Here at Team Cerulean, we’ve been discussing Bruce Daisley’s recent Substack post (https://substack.com/@makeworkbetter/note/c-203832531?) describing a moment many of us recognise: a senior leader shares their vulnerability and mental health challenges from the stage, and the room recoils. The intention was connection. The result? Discomfort. What was meant to inspire felt, to many in the audience, like performance or lack of self-regulation, rather than presence.
We think this moment reveals something important about vulnerability in leadership. The concept itself isn’t the problem – when done well, and relatably, vulnerability builds trust, humanises leadership, and creates space for honest dialogue. But when it feels forced, scripted, or disconnected from broader credibility, it can backfire. Far from ‘leaning in’, the room withdraws.
In our work with leaders, we see this tension regularly. The call to “be vulnerable” or “be authentic” has become common advice, yet the how remains elusive. Real vulnerability requires more than disclosure. It needs to be grounded, purposeful, and paired with competence. It lets others see you as human without leaving them to wonder whether you are capable, stable, or able to regulate yourself under pressure.
The difference matters. Vulnerability that works is less about dramatic revelations and more about authentic context-setting. It might sound like: “This decision has been difficult, and I’ve had to sit with real uncertainty about it. Here’s how I’ve been thinking it through…” rather than an unfiltered outpouring that leaves the team feeling responsible for your wellbeing.
When leaders get this balance right, they model self-awareness, resilience, and a commitment to growth. They create cultures where challenge can be acknowledged without catastrophising, where honesty doesn’t require heroics, and where humanity is present without undermining confidence.
So perhaps the question isn’t whether to be vulnerable, but how to be vulnerable in ways that strengthen rather than strain the relationship between leaders and their teams. That’s when vulnerability becomes not a performance, but the foundation for genuine trust. And that’s what creates true psychological safety – a culture that starts with leadership and flows throughout the organisation.
Credit: Bruce Daisley, Make Work Better
